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Hercules

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        When Hera uncovered yet another one of Zeus’s relationships, she was livid. She decided that she was done punishing Zeus and the women; instead, she would seek revenge on the mortal child. After all, what child would dare to be brought into the world in such an unjust way, even if he did bear her name, “the glory of Hera.” No matter, a name could not make up for such hideous crimes. 

 

        When Zeus’s girlfriend Alcmene gave birth to their first child, Hercules, Hera sent two snakes to kill the baby as he slept. The snakes slithered through the window crack and made their way to the infant’s cradle, slowly ascending the leg until they were hovering above the sleeping child’s head. But before the snakes could strike, two small hands grabbed them by the throats and tossed their limp remains to the floor. The baby stood up, stared down at the carcasses, and went back to sleep. Hera may have thought that a baby would not be able to fend for himself, but she forgot that this baby was a child of Zeus, no matter how it became so. Hera would not forget this affront but decided to let him live for now. 

 

        Hercules possessed heightened strength and agility but despite that lived a normal life until he was a young adult, when Hera decided to strike again. Hercules was settling down for the night with his new wife and children when he suddenly froze, overcome with madness. Delirious, he picked up his bow, aimed, and shot his wife dead. His six children ran screaming but were immediately cut down. Hercules looked down, suddenly aware of what he had just done, and cried out for Apollo.

 

        “Lord Apollo, forgive me! You are the god of my future and fate!” Hercules cried, dropping to his knees. “My beloveds are dead! This is not my doing, but punish me for I am a murderer.”

 

        Apollo looked down with pity at the mortal man. He knew that Hercules was innocent and that Hera was behind this plot to kill his family. But Apollo had no power over Hera and could not punish her. Apollo appeared before Hercules in a flash of light.

 

        “Young man, this was not your doing, but you still must be punished for killing an innocent woman and children,” Apollo boomed. “Go to Mycenae, where your cousin Eurystheus holds court. You shall be tasked with ten labors that you must complete to repent for your crimes.”

 

        Still grieving, Hercules sharpened his sword, polished his armor, and set out for Mycenae in hopes of being forgiven.

 

        Hercules arrived at the palace and, escorted by armed guards, approached Eurystheus. 

 

        “Lord, what will you have me do?” Hercules couldn’t help mocking his cousin.

 

        Eurystheus smiled to himself, relishing the sight of his high and mighty cousin kneeling at his feet.

 

        “For your first task, you will go to Nemea and kill the biggest lion there, known as the

Nemean Lion.”

 

        “Seems simple enough,” Hercules thought to himself and started off on his search.

 

        When Hercules finally reached Nemea, he set out to locate the largest grove in hopes of finding the Nemean Lion as it feasted. After hours of waiting, he eventually spotted a giant lion digging its claws into a deer. He took out his bow, aimed it directly at the lion’s gut, and let the arrow fly. The arrow hit the lion exactly as targeted but simply broke and shattered as it hit the ground. The lion turned and glared at Hercules as if ready to pounce. It jumped through the air as Hercules brandished his sword and took a swing at the lion’s throat. But the sword simply snapped, and the lion dropped down unfazed, snarling. It pounced again, but Hercules sidestepped and wrapped his huge arms around its throat, choking the life out of it. After a minute of struggling, the lion became limp. 

 

        Knowing Eurystheus, he would need proof of the kill, but Hercules couldn’t take the entire corpse back to the palace. He needed the skin, but how could he take the skin if he couldn’t penetrate it? Hercules was staring down at the beast, contemplating his next step, when he noticed how sharp its claws were. Sure enough, when the claws touched the lion’s skin, it drew blood. Hercules smiled to himself and proceeded to skin the beast with its own claws.

 

        Arriving back at the palace, Hercules showed off the skin, now draped across his back. 

 

        “Yes, yes, very good,” Eurystheus commented. “Now for your second task...” 

 

        Hercules glared at his cousin, angry at how nonchalant he was. Hercules was about to grab his newly acquired sword when all the guards in the room trained their spears at him.

 

        “Go to Lerna and kill the Hydra that lives in its swamps,” Eurystheus instructed. “Then come back to me for your next task.”

 

        Hercules stumbled off and fetched his nephew Iolaus, along with his chariot since Lerna was much too far away to walk. 

 

        When they arrived at Lerna’s swamp, Hercules immediately spotted the sleeping form of the Hydra in the waters and carefully stabbed it in the neck.

 

        “That was easy,” Hercules said and began to walk off. 

 

        Suddenly, the monster writhed up and from its decapitated head arose two new heads.

 

        “Iolaus, help!” Hercules shouted. 

 

        The two began to whack at all the heads, cutting them off as they grew, creating multiple heads, before Iolaus yelled to stop.

 

        “What? Why?” Hercules asked as he cut off another one of the heads. 

 

        Before the head could regrow in duplicate, Iolaus jammed a torch into the stump of one of its necks, searing it and stopping any new heads from growing. One at a time, Hercules cut off each of the heads, followed quickly by Iolaus scorching the stump after each cut. Finally, the monster lay lifeless in the creek, blood oozing from its many decapitated heads.

 

        “Careful, this blood is poisonous,” Hercules said as he grabbed his quiver and dipped the arrows into the blood. “Let’s head back to the High King.”

 

        Hercules returned Iolaus back to his house and arrived back in Mycenae.

 

        “Huh?” Eurystheus sounded surprised. “You’ve returned.”

 

        “Great observation,” Hercules snarked back.

 

        “Well, it’s time for you to go again,” Eurystheus said impatiently. “Go to Ceryneia and capture the hind that roams there. It has hooves and horns of gold. Bring it back here.”

 

        Hercules knew of this hind for its great speed but, more importantly, he knew it was sacred to Artemis and could not be harmed unless the hunter wished a gruesome death. 

 

        En route to Ceryneia, Hercules was devising a plan when he was distracted by a glint of gold in the forest. He peered into the clearing and spotted the beautiful stag grazing on a patch of grass. Hercules took one step forward in hopes of grabbing it, but it immediately looked up and dashed away. Hercules chased after it but the stag got away. 

 

        With little else to do, he said a prayer to Artemis. “Forgive me, my lady. I do not wish to harm this majestic creature, but it seems I have no choice. After my deed is done, it shall be let back into the wild where I will harm it no more.”

 

        He knocked an arrow and let it fly, hitting the hind in its leg and dropping it to the ground in a heap. 

 

        Lady Artemis looked down upon this scene with no ill will. She had grown a great admiration for Hercules and knew that he was a good man at heart. If he followed through on his word, he had no reason to be punished.

 

        Meanwhile, Hercules tied the hind’s legs around his neck and traveled back to Ceryneia, only to be ordered right back out and tasked with capturing the Erymanthian boar.

 

        Hercules visited his centaur friend Pholus as he waited for any sightings of the boar. After hours, they decided to open some wine in celebration of the great successes Hercules had already achieved. Just when they had popped the bottle open, the other centaurs came running toward the scent. It soon became a party. Because they forgot to dilute the wine, they became drunk very fast. Not recognizing Hercules as the guest, the centaurs and even Pholus began to attack him, but they were soon mowed down by Hercules’s poisonous arrows. 

 

        A distraught Hercules found the boar and captured it with relative ease by chasing it into the snow, where it got stuck and cornered. Once again wrapping the beast around his shoulders, Hercules returned to Mycenae but this time with a great crowd behind him cheering on their new hero.

 

        Eurystheus was fed up with Hercules and decided to give him a different kind of task, one that would not cause him any danger but would humiliate him. 

 

        “Go to Elis and clean King Augeas’s stables in just one night,” Eurystheus chuckled as he ordered Hercules out of the palace.

 

        Hercules had heard of the king’s stables and knew they had not been cleaned in 30 years. Meeting up with King Augeas and seeing his massive herd of cattle, he struck a deal. 

 

        “If I can clean your stables in just one day, then you will give me 10 percent of your cattle,” Hercules bargained.

 

        Thinking this was impossible and just wanting to get this young fool out of his hair, the king agreed to the deal. 

 

        Hercules, however, had already thought of a plan to clean the stables in just a few seconds. Casting aside the shovel King Augeas had given him, he climbed up the greatest hill searching for a river. He grabbed two huge boulders and planted them so that the course of the river would flow directly toward the stables. The force of the river quickly drove all the manure out of the stables, leaving the animals and gates soaking wet but pristine. 

 

        King Augeas was still making his way back toward the castle when he heard heavy footsteps approaching. He turned around to find Hercules, soaking wet and grinning.

 

        “King Augeas, the task is done.”

 

        The king, dumbstruck, followed Hercules back to the stables. Still in disbelief, King Augeas allowed Hercules to leave with 10 percent of his cattle. 

 

        Eurystheus was watching his court jester when he heard a commotion outside. He stood up to see a man walking toward the palace followed by a massive crowd and many, many cows. Eurystheus gawked. Hercules had no sign of weariness or excess manure on him.

 

        “You!” Eurystheus hollered out the window. “Bring me one of the birds from the Stymphalian marshes.”

 

        “Okay then,” Hercules said with a cocky grin and turned right back around. He dropped off the cattle with Iolaus and headed toward Stymphalia.

 

        There, Hercules took off his lion skin cape and held it above his head to protect himself from the metal wings of the Stymphalian birds. These birds could shoot their feathers like razors, and they could fell a man with just one swipe. Immediately, a flock of birds burst out of a nearby tree, swarming the skies and covering the sun until the entire horizon was filled with deadly birds. All at once, the birds began pelting the lion skin with blade after blade. But Hercules remained steady and drew his bow. Peering out of his lion skin tent, Hercules launched a single arrow. With so many birds in the sky, it was nearly impossible to miss and a bird dropped to the ground. Hercules picked up the fowl and banged a cowbell, scattering the birds. The flock retreated back to the roost to await the next victim. 

 

        Now very confident in his progress through the tasks, Hercules strode back to Mycenae with a smug spring in his step. A now even larger crowd awaited his return.

 

        “Oh Hercules!” Eurystheus sang aloud condescendingly. “King Minos of Crete has a bit of a problem. A while back, he was supposed to sacrifice a contest bull to Poseidon, but he refused to part with that beautiful bull and sacrificed a lesser bull instead. Poseidon has been furious ever since. Bring me that beautiful bull.”

 

        Hercules strode off and hitched a ride to the island of Crete, where he visited King Minos.

 

        “My Lord, your robes are looking elegant today,” Hercules said politely. “May I have your bull?”

 

        “Sure, take it,” Minos said. “It’s been causing me grief ever since Poseidon unleashed his wrath upon me. You can have it IF you can capture it.”

 

        Hercules found the bull rampaging inside the palace walls and stood right in front of it like a matador. He grabbed it by the horns and, planting his feet firmly into the floor, flipped the bull on its back, rendering it helpless. It thrashed violently until finally, Hercules was able to fling it onto his back and journey out of Crete.

 

        Back in Mycenae, Hercules marched into the palace with the thrashing bull on his back and threw it at Eurystheus's feet.

 

        “Done,” Hercules growled.

 

         Immediately the bull got up and raced out of the palace, where it would terrorize citizens of nearby cities for years to come.

 

        Hercules was then sent to Diomedes’s kingdom to capture his four fire-breathing, flesh-eating mares. As he approached the palace, he could already smell the stench of rotting flesh.

 

        “I must have presence with King Diomedes,” Hercules told one of the guards.

 

        After a bit of waiting, Hercules was let in and greeted by the king. 

 

        “Ah yes, I’ve heard of you. You’re Hercules, aren’t you? I could tell by your lion’s cape.”

 

        “Yes, that’s me,” Hercules muttered impatiently, preferring to skip the pleasantries. “My eighth task is to capture your mares.”

 

        “Oh! Well… ” King Diomedes stuttered. “I can’t do that. Guards, arrest this man!”

 

        Hercules was immediately surrounded. He had hoped to take the diplomatic approach but realized that was no longer an option. In one quick movement, Hercules dropped all the guards dead and slowly approached Diomedes.

 

        “There could have been an easier way,” Hercules growled as he slit King Diomedes across the throat.

 

        Hercules grabbed the king, now cold and limp, by the arm and dragged him toward the stables.

 

        “Oh boys!” Hercules cried, “Dinner’s here!”

 

        He threw the king’s body into the mares’ cage, where he was promptly devoured. Now full and content, the horses were relatively tame. Hercules grabbed the chain holding the mares in place and led them back to Mycenae.

 

        King Eurystheus was getting tired of these physical labors and wanted to choose a task that was loathsome in a different way. He had already tried humiliating him by making him clean the stables and could only think of one other way to embarrass him.

 

        “Go to Amazonia and take the girdle of Queen Hippolyte,” Eurystheus instructed.

 

        Eurystheus hoped that the Amazons, who were a powerful nation of women, would see this as an act of war. They took rude gestures by any man very seriously; taking the belt of their queen would surely be an act of defiance and badly harm his reputation. 

 

        But Hercules found another way. Upon entering Amazonia, he flirted and made friends with all the women and showed no sign of overreaching his boundaries. He sweet-talked Hippolyte until she became very comfortable, and he explained his predicament to her.

 

        “I made a grave error when I killed my family, and I am repenting for it now,” Hercules confessed. “I have just two labors left, and this-- my ninth labor-- is to retrieve your girdle. As soon as I complete this task, I shall return it to you because I know the powers it can bestow.”

 

        Hippolyte agreed to give him the girdle, seeing as her army could easily retrieve it if he did not follow through on his promise. However, not all the Amazons received word about Hippolyte’s gesture of goodwill toward Hercules. As Hercules was leaving the palace, some of the Amazons started attacking him for taking the girdle, forcing Hercules to run, clutching the girdle. Once he had fled the territory of the Amazons, Hercules wondered how he would return it and if he could keep his promise.

 

        Eurystheus was worried now because Hercules had just one task remaining, and he needed time to think of a loophole to punish Hercules for longer. He sent Hercules to the edge of the earth to kill and retrieve the red cattle of Geryon. He knew the task itself would not take long, but the travel would give Eurystheus time to think.

 

        Hercules wandered across Europe for days looking for the Straits of Gibraltar. The Greeks had never traveled beyond that point and considered it to be the edge of the earth. When Hercules finally arrived, drained, a barking mutt bounded out of a nearby bush and started to attack Hercules. Its two heads tore at Hercules’s skin before he managed to push the mutt off and stab it in the gut. Hercules crumpled to the ground in exhaustion, but once again, he had no time to rest as the mutt’s owner appeared, furious.

 

        Hercules just stared at him. 

 

        “I am Eurytion and--”

 

        Hercules shot Eurytion through the head with his arrow and marched toward the farmhouse of Geryon.

 

        “Geryon, show yourself!” Hercules demanded.

 

        A giant blob shape appeared from around the corner.

 

        “What do you want?” the blob gargled. 

 

        He stepped out of the shadows, revealing his three connected bodies.

 

        “I want your cows,” Hercules repeated.

 

        “You can’t have them,” Geryon whined.

 

        “Too bad,” Hercules muttered as he shot Geryon through all three of his hearts.

 

        Hercules rounded up the cows and journeyed back toward his expected freedom. 

 

        While Hercules was away, Eurystheus had a long time to think. Finally, he knew what to do.

 

        “Ah yes,” Eurystheus greeted him. “Congratulations Hercules. You have finished ten tasks.”

 

        Hercules grinned, ready to start a new life.

 

        “You only have two more tasks. You are almost done!” Eurystheus said cheerfully.

 

        “Come again?”

 

        “Well, you had Iolaus’s help in the second task. And you accepted payment for cleaning the stables in the fifth task. Those tasks do not count. I’m giving you two replacement tasks,” Eurystheus explained. “Go back east, back to the edge of the earth, and retrieve a golden apple from the garden of Hesperides.”

 

        Hercules stormed off, knowing that complaining would only earn him more tasks. Once again, he devised a plan as he traveled on foot to the edge of the earth. He had heard about these apples; he knew that the tree was a wedding present to Hera and that the apples were fiercely guarded by a dragon named Ladon.

 

        As he approached the garden of Hesperides, he heard the distant scream of a monstrous being. He made his way toward it and found Atlas, the general of the Titan army, kneeling with his hands up holding the sky as a consequence for his defeat at the hands of Zeus.

 

        “Lord Atlas,” Hercules said as he approached. “As you know, there is a tree of golden apples at the base of your mountain. Retrieve one for me and I… I will take your burden.”

 

        Atlas did not speak but simply pushed the sky onto Hercules’s back and stumbled down the hill, now finally able to stretch his legs after all these years. Hercules passed an hour in excruciating pain before Atlas finally returned with a small golden sphere in his hand. He tossed it on the ground in front of Hercules.

 

        “Now I will be on my way. I can’t thank you enough, mortal, for your kind sacrifice,” Atlas murmured.

 

        Hercules interjected, “Before you go, I need you to do me one favor. I will be here a long time like this, and the sky is piercing my back. Hold this for just a few seconds while I adjust my lion’s cape to cushion the weight.”

 

        Atlas grudgingly did as he was told knowing that he would be free forever in just moments. 

 

       But instead, Hercules simply scooped up the apple and began to walk away.

 

        “No, thank YOU, Lord Atlas, for helping me complete my eleventh task.” 

 

        Then Hercules proceeded down the mountain away from the screaming Titan. 

 

        Eurystheus was growing a reluctant admiration for Hercules and, in an effort to diminish his reputation, decided that his last task would be impossible. He ordered Hercules to fetch the three-headed dog Cerberus from the gates of the Underworld; he knew no man could come back alive from this feat. 

 

        At this point, Hercules was numb to the demands of Eurystheus and simply set off to complete his final task. He walked down the path into the Underworld and the palace of Hades. Hercules approached the Lord of the Dead, who was slouching lazily on his throne.

 

        “My Lord Hades,” Hercules bowed. “As you well know, this is my last task, and it is to retrieve your dog. I will keep it safe and return it soon after, but I must do this if I am to be set free.”

 

        Hades thought about this as he, too, had been watching this mortal’s progress through the years with great respect. 

 

        Finally, he said, “Very well. Do as you must. You try your best, but know that Cerberus will not let you take him so easily.”

 

        Hercules bowed and left the palace slowly to preserve his energy for Cerberus. He grasped the three chains which held its heads to the post and threw them over his shoulder. As the dog thrashed, he moved the beast inch by inch toward the exit of the Underworld. Hercules moved down the rocky path pulling the massive beast behind him as it continued to thrash and dig its feet into the earth. 

 

        After many days, Hercules finally reached Mycenae, where a massive crowd awaited. They scattered at the sight of Cerberus. Even Eurystheus, protected by his entire military, shook in fear and immediately declared that Hercules had completed his service. Hercules kept his word to Hades and released the dog, allowing him to race back to his home. Hercules was finally free.

 

        With his newfound freedom, Hercules decided to take up a new life. He battled the river god Achelous for the woman Deianira, whom he wished to marry. However, along the way, a centaur named Nessus tried to steal Deianira away, so Hercules killed him with a poisonous arrow. As he was dying, Nessus grabbed a vial and drained some of his own blood into it. Nessus handed the vial to Deianira and said weakly, “If Hercules ever loses interest in you, smear this on his clothes, and it will bring back his affection for you.” What Deianira did not know was that the blood was tainted with the poison from Hercules’s arrow; combined with centaur blood, it could kill a man in an excruciatingly painful way. 

 

        Many years later, Deianira suspected Hercules was seeing another woman and remembered Nessus’s blood. One morning, Hercules was getting dressed when he let out a guttural scream. He tried to rip his shirt off, but the poison had seeped into his skin, causing his shirt to melt into his body. Engulfed in agonizing pain, he ran to the stake and jumped into the fire to soothe himself. The gods, looking down in pity, transformed his spirit into an immortal god and allowed his mortal form to burn away.